I write to you today as a patriot, a fellow Republican, but most of all, a friend. This week news broke that you have formed SarahPAC, a Political Action Committee, to being raising awareness and funds for your supposed upcoming 2012 Presidential bid.

Sarah, why do you do this to us? For the love of Republicanism, let us put forth a non-joke Presidential bid.

Sarah, I can only ask you one question. What the hell are you thinking?

If you’re a Republican at all, you will bow out of the public spot light and let our party find someone that can actually lead our party into the future. I know you have great appeal because you’re pretty. I know you attract the ultra-conservative members of our party. But, I also know you can’t lead this party.

I have to unfortunately point out that most Americans, our party included, believe you were the reason Mr. John McCain lost the election to President Obama. Your inability to come off as a serious political leader and mind, as was evident by your interviews and debates, will only continue to become evident on the build up to 2012.

So, if you’re truly an American. And if you truly love the Republican philosophy, you’ll back out of the 2012 Presidential race.

You have already become famous. You have your media attention. You’re now a celebrity. Let the real politicians be politicians. Let someone like Mitt Romney help America with his economic prowess. Or Mike Huckabee with his conservative policies. Or Ron Paul with his incredibly accurate understanding of how asinine Washington politics have become.

With love,

WhyThoughts

People have said that this is the guy to fix all our economic woes, but I’m at a little lost. Maybe I’m not as read on his background as I should be, but can someone please point me to his resume that says he can fix this issue?

Timothy Geithner sweats balls as Congress asks him what the hell he was thinking.

The fact that Geithner has been involved in all the major meetings and strategic planning sessions regarding TARP and the bailout should automatically disqualify him from the position. Why? Because those answers have not fixed the problems. They haven’t even started to stem the problem.

Add onto this the scandal of tax evasion, or an oversight to pay part of his taxes, however you want to classify this, and it should immediately disqualify Geithner from this position. This is how I view the situation, in a very basic outlook:

1) Timothy Geithner was intentionally trying to cheat his taxes. This questions his ethics, and even the slightest issue should disqualify an individual from the post of Treasury secretary. The fact that he did not re-pay the taxes, even though he was made aware through the vetting process, until he was officially nominated to the post shows that Mr. Geithner is no the man for the job.

2) Timothy Geithner is incompetent and missed paying a percentage of his taxes for two years running. If that’s the case, this person should certainly NOT be permitted to head the IRS. Common sense leads to this assessment.

Either way, Mr. Geithner shouldn’t be allowed to take this post. Hopefully I’m proven wrong and he comes up with a genius plan to attack the three main issues: foreclosures, toxic assets, unemployment.

Also, don’t use TurboTax, straight from the mouth of our Treasury secretary, not mine.

For those that were disappointed Obama won the election over McCain, it’s now time to put that disappointment behind you. President Obama is officially in office and Head of State. If you consider yourself an American, a patriot, it’s time to stand behind our new President and his administration, regardless of your political leanings (which hopefully are to the right, you god damn hippie).

The 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, is sworn into office.

President Obama is now our President. The problems facing this great nation are of no secret. We know what needs to be fixed, and it will be interesting to see the plans laid forth to attack and mend our nation. I hope our new administration, with Congress following suit, put aside the political bickering that has hampered productivity, and actually begin fixing our problems.

However, one part of the speech did strike me as odd… if not downright incorrect.

“Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath.”
- President Barack Obama, Inauguration Speech

Eh, actually it’s 43 Americans. Grover Cleveland was both the 22nd and 24th President of the United States, making it 43 Americans that have taken the oath. I understand it’s a small quibble, and the speech might not have flown as smoothly had he been forced to define the reason he’s actually the 43rd American, but still. You’d have thought someone would have caught that, especially someone at one of the many news stations that have been showing nothing but Obama Inauguration coverage 24/7 for the last week.

For those that don’t know, Ramos and Compean where Border Patrol agents in West Texas.  That area of Texas is occupied by the Rio Grande, El Paso, and a vast expanse of nothingness, so it’s a perfect location for smuggling people, drugs, lawn mowers, and whatever else Mexicans bring into the U.S.

Americans lobby for the freedom of Ramos and Compean, two ex-Border Patrol agents that were sentenced to 11 and 12 years in prison for protecting our borders from drug smugglers.

While on patrol they found Osvaldo Aldrete-Davila sitting on the hood of a van.  That van was packed with 700+ lbs of marijuana valued at over $1 million.  He bolted, ended up in a tussle with Ramos, and while fleeing turned back and pointed something at Compean.  Compean shot at Aldrete-Davila, hitting him in the ass.  Aldrete-Davila jumped in a waiting van on the Mexico-side and fled.

Now, procedural mistakes were made by the American Border Agents when they cleaned up their shell casings.  There’s no arguing that, but Western district of Texas U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton decided to take those procedural mistakes, coupled with the testimony of an ADMITTED ILLEGAL ALIEN DRUG SMUGGLER, and charge Ramos and Compean with 12 felony charges.

Ramos and Compean were found guilty.  They were sentenced to 11 and 12 years in prison.  It’s a true shame and an utter blow to all the Americans that risk their lives daily to protect this great country.

Mr. Johnny Sutton, you’re a disgrace to America.  You should have resigned and moved to France, you god damn hippie.  The same goes for the Department of Homeland Security’s Office of Inspector General, who oversees the Border Patrol, for tracking down Aldrete-Davila in Mexico and offering him IMMUNITY in exchange for testifying AGAINST the agents.  Bastard!

It’s almost as if someone needs to administer a test to these public servants before they can take their post.

Question #1:  Do you like America?

Question #2:  Do you like America more than a drug smuggling shit fuck from Mexico?

Question #3:  Have you, or do you ever plan to, prosecute good bodied Americans for protecting their nation from shit scum trying to come across the border?

If they can’t answer those questions easily and truthfully, send them packing!  This is America god dammit, I truly can’t believe this even happened in the first place.

Post Script:  This Aldrete-Davila character should be given American citizenship.  My reason?  After getting caught and shot once, he was arrested, again, for trying to smuggle drugs across the border.  Afterwards, he filed a $5 million lawsuit against the U.S. for violating his “civil rights” when he was shot.

Now if a frivolous lawsuit doesn’t make you an American, I don’t know what does!

Yes, we can all feel sorry for those civilians that are subjected to the horrors of war. But to say this was an unprovoked attack by Israel is to blatantly lie… or not know a thing about, well, anything.

Mr. Palestinian man. I know you didn't attend any type of schooling, but common sense would dictate that a rock would not blow up, penetrate, or even dent that tank. When will you people learn anything?

For those that don’t know, Hamas, a paramilitary extremist group (read: terrorist organization), holds the majority of seats in the legislative council of the PNA. I ask you to pay special attention to the paramilitary title. Hamas is not a political party. They don’t know how to govern a country. They don’t know how to build roads, a school system, increase jobs, or provide for a better way of life. Because of this, they use fear to rule their people. They teach them fundamentalist bullshit, and the people are so uneducated, they don’t know they’re being lied to.

So when Hamas, Gaza, and Palestine randomly send mortars and rockets over the border into populated cities in Southern Israel, then I say fuck’em. Bomb the hell out of them and don’t stop until they stop.

This unilateral cease-fire won’t work. We’re shortly going to find some shitless Djinn Haji, that’s strapped a bomb to a mentally challenged child or susceptible female, go and blow up a public establishment. The cease-fire will be called off and Israel will be back overhead with F-16′s.

If Palestine is already in the stone age… is it possible to bomb them back to the 21st century? Food for thought. Regardless, Israel should give it the old college try, that’s for sure. You’ve got the double thumbs up from Why Thoughts?.

HEADLINE: Man sold teen daughter into marriage for cash, beer, meat

No, you didn’t read that wrong. Marcelino de Jesus Martinez, 36, of Greenfield, California attempted to sell his 14-year old daughter to an 18-year old boy for “$16,000, 160 cases of beer, 100 cases of soda, 50 cases of Gatorade, two cases of wine, and six cases of meat.” When the 18-year old didn’t pay up, Martinez called the cops. Yes, he called the cops to tell them that an individual didn’t follow through on his promise to purchase his daughter.

This man attempted to sell his daughter for $16,000, beer, and meat. Yes, that was a serious statement.

What a fucking moron. The stupidity that some people here in America show is truly astonishing. Of course, this guy isn’t from America, he’s from Mexico, where shit like this, as well as kidnappings and massacres of police and government authority figures, is perfectly normal.

Since we all know that the majority of aliens from Mexico, both legal and illegal, don’t take the time to learn our language, someone should at least put up signs on the border that recommend LEARNING OUR FUCKING LAWS.

HEADLINE: 275-Pound Woman Says Hospital Told Her to Use Zoo MRI

A 5-foot, 275-pound woman was shocked and angered when her hospital told her she was too large to fit into the MRI machine. Carolyn Ragan, who has a cancerous tumor on her spine, was informed that she would need to use the local zoo’s MRI machine since she was too damn fat to fit into a normal person MRI machine.

Now, instead of blaming herself for becoming morbidly obese. Instead of blaming herself for lack of self-control and all those lonely nights spent eating fried chicken wings and ice cream. Instead of taking responsibility for her something she’s caused, she yells at the hospital, at the staff, and at the MRI manufacturers for not developing a machine everyone can use.

Well Carolyn, sometimes it’s just not logical or feasible to develop a machine that needs to be able to fit a baby elephant inside. The machine is already capable of holding up to 400+ lbs, so it fits most everyone. Unfortunately, you’re so damn short and so damn fat, the machine physically can’t fit you in.

I understand the embarrassment you felt when you were told to go to the zoo. But I don’t understand your need to make this story public. You’re not going to get sympathy from many people. You’re only going to find yourself feeling more embarrassed. I recommend watching the TV show “The Biggest Loser”. It shows the world what people can do once they conquer their self. You are your biggest enemy Carolyn, so stop sitting around in self loathing and do something about it!

HEADLINE: Geithner’s Past Tax Problems Delay Confirmation Hearing

Today Timothy Geithner, President-elect Obama’s choice for Treasury secretary, had his confirmation hearing postponed due to news that broke regarding his dislike of paying taxes, dating back to 2001.

Timothy Geithner got in trouble, trouble, trouble.

Personally, I don’t much care. He owed the government $17,000 or so. It was while he was working for the IMF (International Monetary Fund) and classified as self employed. Mistakes happen, and yes, the situation could have been handled in a better manner, but I don’t think he was trying to scam the system. But, of course, who knows.

With regards to his housekeeper being an illegal immigrant, who’s isn’t? If all us Republicans were to bitch and moan about that, we might as well change our registration cards and call ourselves hypocrites…or maybe just Democrat?

Judgment regarding whether he can fix the current economic situation or not will be saved for a later discussion.

I accept the use of torture by our government. In fact, I encourage the use of torture by our intelligence community, especially by those individuals that risk their lives day in and day out for our freedom and safety. But, before you yuppies that read this get all uppity with me, let me express my reasoning.

The season premier of 24 tonight hit some key points regarding the use of torture by our military and intelligence professionals.

Tonight I was watching the show 24 (no, that’s not my reasoning, just keep reading, jackass) . Anyways, Jack Bauer had been brought before a Senate committee to explain his use of torture techniques and those that had planned a terror plot. He showed no remorse, and explained that his actions saved innocent lives.

I couldn’t agree more. I can’t imagine what those individuals, the ones that oppose coercive interrogation techniques, are thinking. Assume your family, your husband or wife, your mother or father, or your two young children are kidnapped by a mad man. You hunt down someone with information about where this mad man is keeping your family. After you try politely asking this person, “Excuse me dear sir, where might this mad man be keeping my children”, he tells you to “fuck off”. I dare challenge anyone that says they wouldn’t go to any means necessary to find the location of their abducted family.

Now, a common rebuttal is that due process should be observed and that the individual should have a legal right to a trial. And through this legal process, the answer to the question, where your family is being held, will eventually be answered. Maybe in Pleasantville this would be the proper solution, but here in the real world, sometimes going through all the proper channels simply takes too damn long. When it comes to withdrawing information from a non-cooperative combatant, especially one that holds information that could result in saving one, hundreds, or thousands of lives, the law should state simply: by any means necessary.

Yeah, torture exists, get over it you god damn hippie.

I understand the concern shown by many that by torturing our enemies America is “stooping” to their level. However, I think the only ones that truly believe this are left-wing, hippie nut jobs. I might be wrong, but I hope any decently intelligent person, especially one that’s in politics, might not condone torture tactics while speaking publicly, but in private believes that it’s a necessary tactic to continue protecting American interests and lives.

It’s becoming increasingly apparent that there are two worlds: the world we all live in, and the world our soldiers and intelligence professionals live in. Their world is a messy place. It’s an ugly place. But it’s a necessary place. It’s necessary that these battles are fought in a separate world, for it saves all of us from the horrors and evils of war, from the scary thoughts and close calls we are inevitably blind to.

Sometimes, in their world, using forceful tactics to uncover information which keeps us safe soars above the legal process. In their world they don’t deal with an enemy that believes in due process. They deal with an enemy that strap bombs to children and send them into crowded public areas. When you deal with an enemy that has no rules, you have to adapt to their game to win the war.

So, for those that truly believe torture is the work of the devil, I implore you to get off your tree-hugging high horse and enter the world the rest of us live in…the real world.

Before people immediately jump to the comment button to voice there displeasure with the burgeoning reality just set upon them…

For those that don’t understand, in the opening paragraph I stated figures that say around 73% of Americans are fat. If you’re in a room right now with 4 total people, 3 of them will be fat!

… maybe we should look into the cause of our ever growing bellies (I’ll make notion to the belly, simply because it makes me dry heave thinking about thigh fat, back fat, and arm fat).

Hey, you fat bastard, you should try harder to lose the belly, arm, neck, and tit fat! Seriously, cheesy puffs aren't that great.

“There’s fewer green spaces and kids are sat home playing computer games on the TV when in the past they’d have been burning off energy outside.”
- Steve Easterbrook, McDonald’s UK CEO

Well Steve, congratulations, you have successfully placed the blame on the shoulders of the real estate developers. Damn them for taking away “green spaces” for kids to play in. I understand the position you’re in, and that McDonald’s has been trying to go healthier, what, with their all white meat chicken nuggets, salads, and new green paint job. But, truth remains, kids will continue adding those pounds with your 740 calorie Double Quarter Pounder® with Cheese with the 500 calorie Large French Fries.

Yes, there are a lot of different causes to the fat crisis. But, what I consider the root of the problem, also plagues American’s in other aspects of their life…the complete and utter lack of self-constraint. Off the top of my head, I would consider our divorce rate and infidelity figures to be associated with lack of self-constraint. I consider the current economic crisis, both the fault of the banks and individual borrowers, to also fall into the above category. The amount of alcoholics, drug addicts, and compulsive gamblers are also related to self-control.

The parents of these kids should be ashamed of themselves. Likely, the parents of these two munchkins are morbidly obese themselves.

You can bore me with excuses all day long, but it all comes back to the individual’s unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise. When it comes to fat children, the blame should lie squarely on the head of the parents.

Attention parents: What the hell are you doing to your kids? The future generations of American’s need to be more disciplined than this. Stop taking your kids through fast food joints and spend 10 minutes preparing them some chicken, fruits, vegetables, and salads at home. When you’re grocery shopping, if you look at the back of the item you will see nutrition information. This tells you whether it’s something you should be putting into your shopping cart or back on the shelf. Don’t be an idiot and fall for packaging propaganda. If you see a carton that states “now with 35% less fat”, that doesn’t mean it’s now healthy. Don’t be a god damn moron! (From a classic businessman’s standpoint, these packages are genius, true genius.)

Weight Control Suggestions

People, these work. Read them, live them, be them.

1. Stop eating fast food. If you eat junk fast food more than 1 time per two weeks, then you’re going to gain weight. Eat healthy food, it’s not that hard!
2. Do some cardio. For those of you that don’t know, or can’t remember, exercising is when you get about and move around. Do it.
3. Portion control. When you’re eating, watch the portion. If you slowly wean off the amount of food you eat during each meal, your stomach will begin to shrink and smaller and smaller portions of food will become filling.
4. Don’t drink sodas. There is too much god damn sugar in those things. Stay away from them. (Just note: Gatorade isn’t healthy if you’re not burning the calories).
5. Don’t binge drink, especially with beer. Beer, even light beer, has a lot of calories. If you don’t believe me, Google it.

Please, I implore you, for the sake of America’s posterity and our future generations, curb the weight problem. You don’t need to be celebrity thin or professional athlete ripped, but you do need to make sure no one else has to look at your cottage cheese legs or cram next to you in an airplane. It’s not good for 3/4 of our countrymen to be overweight. But more importantly, it’s not good for me, because it means that there are just that many more fat chicks.

Special thanks to the Democrats and their Community Reinvestment Act, the banks and their loose lending practices, and the hordes of stupid people living outside of their means.

…many are seeking ways to supplement their current source of income.

Indubitably, I love America and all it stands for; however, the majority of American citizens are idiots. It’s possible to argue that this is one of the reasons we find ourselves held in contempt by many others on the planet. But, it sets us uniquely apart. How you might ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

If you see dressed-alike midgets trying to sell you their secrets to real estate... turn the channel. Or shoot yourself. Whichever.

Because our citizens are dumb, Nigerian citizens actually have an income. Because our citizens are dumb, we continue to receive spam e-mails for offshore pills and penny stocks. Because our citizens are dumb, we see commercials for EnxtenZe. And because our citizens are dumb, we see get rich quick infomercials starring two dressed-alike midgets.

So how can our citizens protect themselves from OBVIOUS scams? Well, I’ll tell you, a college education doesn’t necessarily preclude you from the list of idiots that will get scammed one day in their life. Just because your net worth is over $10,000,000, that doesn’t prevent you from falling prey to a Madoff-like scheme.

The only way to protect yourself from a scam is to be skeptical about everything. That might not sound like an appealing option, but it’s the truth. If people take a second to look at the details of what’s being offered, if they take the time to notice the sell, then only the incredibly moronic people would fall prey.

So lets break this down a little:

If you’re watching a commercial, late at night, that flaunts beaches, bikinis, ferraris, mansions, and palm trees, you’re watching a scamfomercial. They won’t make you rich. You won’t marry a model and spend your life sipping champagne. Change the channel.

If you land on a website that looks like this, it's a scam.

If you lost your job and you’ve been pitched a “run your own business” system, or multi-level marketing job, tell the person to fuck off. This, along with your typical pyramid schemes, are a waste of your time. If you ever have to pay for a job or for a “system”, then you’re not going to make any money. Just leave it alone.

If you’re pitched a great investment opportunity, do your due diligence. Don’t take your buddy’s word for it. If you’re told about an offshore bank that will give you 10% interest, that’s a scam. If you have an investment vehicle that pays off identical returns year-to-year, make sure it’s not a scam (Bernie Madoff).

If you’re being called or contacted regarding a will of an African prince, then hang up the phone. If you’re ever asked to send money or to give them your banking details, cut off contact. Don’t be a fool!

In the end, it boils down to how gullible and greedy you are. If you possess both of those qualities, then there’s not much that can be done. You’ll continue falling for the sell, regardless of how many times you’re burned.

I implore all Americans to stop being suckers when it comes to these scams. Not only is it giving the rest of us a bad name, but the sheer volume of scam pitches is annoying the hell out of me. So please, save my inbox.

Les Miles has a big mouth.  He publicly complains about other conferences and teams.  Mr. Les, yes you coach in the SEC and play some tough team, but so does every other conference.  What sets you apart from others (like Pete Carroll’s USC Trojans) is you’re a pussy when it comes to non-conference scheduling.  Appalachian State, North Texas, Troy (which you damn near lost to this year), Louisiana-Lafayette, and Tulane are real tough slobber-knockers, you douche.

Les Miles, LSU's Football Coach, complains and yells too much. Now, I have no problem with that, unless you're a classless SOB.

What prompted me to make this post was the  2008 Chick-fil-A Bowl, which I watched last night, that pit LSU vs. Georgia Tech.  Now, considering how poorly LSU has played all year long, I was shocked at the execution of the LSU defense and offense, especially with a freshman quarterback.  The game also offered a venue for Coach Miles to show the world, in prime-time, what a classless fuck he truly is.

Early in the game, with momentum on his side after turnovers and lucky bounces, Coach Miles elected for a tricky onside kick.  Now, throughout the years, Miles has been the “master” of trick plays.  He received that title by the amount of successful trick plays his athletes have completed for him.  Either his athletes are just that good, or he blew Lady Luck at some point in his career.  Regardless, it was a well executed play.

But the play that really chapped my knickers, happened when Les’ LSU, leading 38-3 in the 4th quarter, decided this was a great time to show the world how awesome he is at trick play, as well as being a douche, and called for a fake punt.  Again, it was successful, going for 21 yards and the first down.  Combine that play call with multiple deep ball throws in the 4th quarter, and you define the lack of gamesmanship and class in Les Miles.

Mr. Les, I truly hope that as you age, you learn the true meaning of sport.  That doesn’t include rubbing a lopsided victory in the face of the other team’s players, coaches, and fans.  If I were to give you advice and words of wisdom regarding public comments, I would implore you to shut your trap.  You’re rubbing too many people the wrong way, and as you learned this year, your team won’t always be a top team (or even ranked, bitch).